Men and Women...............THE "REAL DEAL"

What's the good word, My People???? I'm here to try to stimulate amongst you some discourse on one of the many issues that impact our community. I'd like to thank my girl Celeste (living in Korea) for putting this issue to me during one of our phone conversations. The conversation was so very deep, and she conveyed to me some of the things that women deal with in the relationship realm. Naturally, I gave her my two cents worth of an opinion, but it made me want to put this out there to you guys, to hear what your opinions are on the issue. So, here we go.........................

I want to know why it is so very hard for us to sustain true, meaningful, heterosexual relationships these days. Now, for us to really have a dialogue on this, it will require those of you who read this to respond frankly and truthfully. I'm sure, gentlemen, that the ladies are dying to hear some straight up answers from some straight up men. Ladies rest assured that the brothers also will be waiting with baited breath for your responses as well. I was talking to a co-worker last Monday. She asked me why men won't treat a "good woman" right. I asked her to define what treating her right equated to. She commenced to telling me that she cooked, cleaned, took care of the children, entertained company, attended and was active in her church, etc. Yet, she advised, she couldn't find a man who wasn't initially trying to get her in bed. I kept it real with her and told her that men approach women, 95% of the time, based on the woman's physical attributes. I mean, what else can they base their approach on? They don't know a woman other than what they see initially, right? I then asked her if a man tries to sleep with her within a certain amount of time once they meet, does that necessarily make him "bad, a dog, or unworthy"? She responded that in her opinion, it does or it at least makes her weary. I then asked what was a good length of time for a man to wait before feeling comfortable enough with the woman to inquire about intimacy. She said it varies from relationship to relationship. I agreed, but I also asked how does a man know this without asking, either verbally or by action??? We agreed that it was a trial and error type deal. The bottom line is the respect factor. As a man, you can find out ANYTHING you want to about a woman by being forthright and respectful. Our conversation went on and other co-workers joined in (all of them women). I could see in their faces that they were both surprised and pleased with my candor in answering questions about men and why we do what we do in relationships. I then asked some questions of the women, such as "why is it that when a hard working, faithful man does right in a relationship, why are there instances where the woman dogs that man?" You should've seen the faces on those ladies!!!!! Men have been painted as the "low-down" ones for so long, but since the 1980's women have turned the tables on men. They've become more independent and as a result have become more confident in making decisions in the relationships they get involved in. Men used to go to clubs to hook up for those "infamous one night stands"! Now, women go to clubs on the hunt, capture some guy they think is attractive, get what they want from him, and tell him you ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell up outta here!". Yep, puts him right out like the herby-curby on trash day!!!! This mindset on the parts of both men and women is not conducive to true monogamous relationships. The only way for these types of relationships to flourish in this day and time is to have one basis/foundation: THE BIBLE! Yeah, that's right. IF you (man or woman) are trying to have a meaningful relationship, you must have a spiritual foundation. Now, I said the Bible for those of us who follow the Christian faith, but this applies to whatever document or book you read in your particular faith. That "publication" is the great equalizer, something that provides guidelines for both sexes to move forward in a relationship. The guidelines in these books help prevent self-esteem problems, feelings of being taken for granted ( a lot of women deal with these issues) as well as feelings of insecurity and weakness towards infidelity (men's issues). Tell me how you feel about this, good people. I'm waiting to take your responses back to my co-workers!!!!